Ultimatum
Pam:The goal of this meeting is to get everybody excited about their resolutions! Who's been good about their resolutions so far? Erin. Tell us about it.
Erin:Well, my goal was to learn a new word every single day. And I must say that it is going immensely.
Pam:Cool! Here's a little 'way to go' gift from Sabre. [tosses Erin a Frisbee]
Gabe:Intercepted!
Erin:Hey! Gabe.
Gabe:Whoops.
Pam:Creed. I noticed you don't have a resolution on the board. What's yours?
Creed:I want to do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not make a big deal about it. But I know everybody saw it. Just one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.
Pam:How is it going?
Creed:I'm having a little trouble motivating.
Pam:One of the hardest parts about making resolutions is keeping them. In fact, most resolutions are abandoned by February.
Michael:Or sooner.
Pam:Yeah.
Michael:That's not a joke.
Pam:But that's okay. Because it's not about being perfect, it's about trying. In fact, why don't we go around and confess some of the ways that we've fudged on some of our resolutions?
Kevin:Well, I said that I would eat more vegetables, and I haven't yet. But it's okay. I still have time, since last year, I ate none.
Pam:Okay, well, my confession is that today I had a sip of coffee. But that's fine.
Michael:Is it?
Pam:Yes! Because with all of your support, by this time next year maybe I'll be down to one glass of iced tea a week.
Michael:Next year? Come-I mean, what is the point? What is the point of that? I made a resolution to floss, and I did it. 12:01, January first, BAM! Blood everywhere.
Kevin:Well not all of us are Michael Freaking Scott.
Michael:What is wrong with you people? Can't you stick to anything? Erin, I want you to go to the kitchen and get me some vegetables. Creed, you say you want to do a cartwheel? Nothing's stopping you. Come on, old man, do a cartwheel!
Creed:Well, I can't, I don't know how.
Michael:You're just gonna somersault around for the rest of your life and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed:My tombstone's already made, thank you.
Michael:Just do a cartwheel!
Erin:This is all I could find.
Michael:[holding broccoli in front of Kevin] Eat it.
Pam:You don't have to do that, Kevin.
Kevin:I don't know. I'm glad this is happening. Thank you, Michael.
...