Stress Relief, Pt. 1 & 2
Meme It!David Wallace:How could you possibly think this is a good idea?
Dwight:A lot of ideas were not appreciated in their time.
Michael:Electricity.
Dwight:Shampoo.
David Wallace:You could have burned down the whole building.
Dwight:I just want to say for the record, I did not kill anyone. Stanley was attacked by his own heart. And he should be released from the hospital and back in the office in a couple days.
Lawyer:Did you shout, 'Fire!', causing a panic?
Dwight:Yes I shouted 'fire!'. I shouted many things! I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building, so you can imagine my frustration as safety officer when nobody would heed of what-- heeded--
Michael:Hed. Hedded
Dwight:When no one hedded--
Michael:Take hedded of.
Dwight:N-no one would take hedded of my instructions.
Michael:Heed. Heed.
Dwight:So, you--
Michael:Take heed of.
Dwight:And, well, I don't see my co-workers--
Michael:Take heed of.
Dwight:Hee-heeding this right now.
Lawyer:Wh--what?
Michael:Okay. [walks to the window, sighs] This city. Dwight. We are not mad, we are just disappointed.
David Wallace:No, we are mad.
Michael:Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.
David Wallace:No, we're not.
Michael:I am not a mind reader, David.
David Wallace:Look, this is very serious offense. We have cause to fire you.
Michael:Can you shove down? Instead... shove down, please. Instead, what I think we should do is strip of your title as safety officer.
Dwight:No.
Michael:And we should take a part of his pay and donate it the charity of your choice. Something that Dwight doesn't like.
Dwight:PETA.
David Wallace:Michael, you have to take responsibility here. One of your employees had a heart attack. He could have died, because of the way that you are allowing your office to run. Do you want that on your conscious?
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