Welcome Party
Meme It!Robert:Good morning, Robert,' says no one because our receptionist is in Florida. [no one responds] Pam!
Pam:Oh! [takes out earbuds]
Robert:Is this a video conference you're having with 'Drake, featuring Swizz Beatz'?
Pam:Um, no, I was just, um, just having a cup of coffee, kind of warming up for the day.
Robert:People, you should come to work already warm. Nine to ten a.m. is the most productive potential that a human being-
Nellie Bertram:Sorry, sorry, everyone, I'm late! But you all are here, so no harm done at all by my lateness.
Robert:[laughing] Nellie, really, nine fifty?
Nellie Bertram:Oh, here's what happened. Seven forty-six, my alarm clock goes off. I hear it. Whack the snooze.
Robert:Ah.
Nellie Bertram:Nine minutes. Bzz! Off it goes again. Whack! Seven more times I did that. Bzz, whack. Bzz, whack! By the time I got up, it was ten minutes ago. No willpower. That is my curse!
Robert:[laughs] I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman.
Nellie Bertram:Ah ha!
Robert:I don't think you would have shown up to work nearly an hour late for no reason.
Nellie Bertram:Oh, I assure you, I would have done. I did, and I will keep doing it.
Robert:No, no, no, no. There's something going on. Some stress in your life.
Nellie Bertram:Well, yes, uh... there is the whole moving to Scranton nonsense. Thirty boxes arrived yesterday from England and two trunks from Florida. Then I have to move in to my apartment in this dreadful, God knows where it is backwater suburb of a suburb, and I mean, no offense but are there a lot of Irish people living around here?
Kevin and Meredith:[in unison] Yes.
Nellie Bertram:Ugh! I hate that! No offense.
Kevin:None taken.
Oscar:Actually, Nellie, this monologue you're delivering is very offensive.
Nellie Bertram:oh! Ay, carumba! The natives are getting restless!
Stanley:Who's a native?
Nellie Bertram:Uh, excuse me, the tone here is getting quite hostile. I would appreciate it if you would keep that stuff on the basketball court. [everyone groans]
Oscar:What does that mean?
Dwight:Okay, okay.
Nellie Bertram:If you'd let me finish- Or the squash court, or the Supreme Court. Hmm?
Robert:Nellie?
Nellie Bertram:Yes, Robert!
Robert:You're clearly under a lot of... stress with the moving and the work situation you've found yourself in.
Nellie Bertram:Yeah.
...