The Incentive
Meme It!Andy:Thanks for coming in guys.
Phyllis:You don't have to thank us for coming in, it's our job.
Andy:Well I never got thanked for coming into a meeting and I always wanted to be so I'm gonna thank people.
Meredith:What's with the blanket?
Andy:This is what's under the blanket.
Oscar:We don't get it.
Andy:These are incentives. It's how we're gonna double growth. Now, you're probably all asking yourselves: Well, how does this work?
Pam:Seems like a basic reward system where you give us points, and then we redeem those points for prizes.
Andy:You're exactly right and you get a point.
Pam:Oh. [smiling]
Ryan:Uh, is that a vibrator?
Andy:Twenty points.
Meredith:How does one get a point?
Andy:Ive outlined the exact parameters in an email, so check your spam folders, but basically you do your job better, you get points. So, collect fifteen points and redeem them for this polar bear.
Kelly:Why is it all kid stuff and a vibrator? It's so gross.
Andy:There's lots of stuff. John Irving, collected works, Twenty-two points. Or, you can pool your points and redeem fifty-five for this maternity shirt.
Stanley:How bout you want us to work harder, pay us more.
Andy:I can't.
Kelly:This point system is really insulting.
Andy:Ooh I didn't mean to offend you, and I hope youll forgive me because I am very very Sari. [tosses yellow print material over shoulder] Sixteen points.
Kelly:That's a tablecloth.
Jim:What if we went all the way up to five hundred points?
Andy:That's a crazy amount of points.
Jim:But, what if?
Andy:Well, what do you want?
Jim:I don't know, for such a crazy number Id like something pretty crazy.
Andy:Alright. For five hundred points, I will wear a dress to work. [laughter]
Jim:That's pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?
Andy:Ill run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding-dong. [laughter] Yeah? You like that? Alright! For five thousand points, I will let you tattoo whatever you want on the stern of the old SS Bernard![Andy points to his rear-end]
Group:Ooooh!
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