Pool Party
Meme It!Jim:[Robert is looking at pictures of a house online] Whoa, looks pretty nice. Got a little bit of a Shining vibe, though.
Oscar:Oh, who needs a house that size?
Dwight:Big. Stupid. Pure chump bait.
Robert:I'm selling the house, actually.
Jim:You know, there's a glare from over here... oh wow, that's magnificent.
Robert:It's mid-recession in a depressed area of a faltering state and I've got the most expensive house on the market. The one percent are suffering too, people. I wanted it to be my Playboy mansion. A temple to wine, revelry, sex, intrigue... this was hot on the heels of Eyes Wide Shut, mind you. Then I met my wife, she moved in, made it her own. Now she's left me and forced me to sell the place. The ultimate insult? They're calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room. [Jim laughs] Does my turmoil amuse you, Jim?
Jim:I'm sorry, I thought you were making a joke.
Robert:What could you possibly have found funny in what I said? What was the joke you thought you heard?
Jim:I guess I thought you were approaching it with more of a sarcasm than misery. Kind of laughing at your own pain, sad clown thing.
Robert:Oh yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of the dying circus industry. Very funny, Jim. I get it.
Andy:Um, I'm getting reports of a serious outbreak of the grumpies in here.
Robert:A beautiful monster cost me my forties and my dream home. I think I'm entitled to the occasional bad day.
Andy:Well, please tell Susan we all say hi.
Kevin:Dude, what if, since you're feeling grumpy, we all swing by tonight and check out your indoor pool? [Robert laughs]
Oscar:Kevin, no.
Robert:What, as some sort of last hoorah?
Kevin:Yeah. All of us in the pool, saying hoorah. Maybe the last one that says hoorah is it.
Robert:You know I suppose someone should enjoy the place before I hand it over to the staging experts at Remax tomorrow. Let's try this: everyone, tonight, my house, wear a swimsuit. Let's just call it a get-together. And let's say no food.
Kevin:Hey Oscar, was that you who just created a party out of thin air or was it me?
Oscar:That was you, Kevin.
Kevin:It was me.