Christening
Season 7, Episode 7, 0:01-1:34
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Meme It!Pam:I know a lot of us have been feeling under the weather lately. It's that time of year. And according to a study done by the University of Arizona, they've discovered that your keyboards have hundreds of times more bacteria, per square inch, than a toilet seat.
Kelly:I heard your momma had more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.
Michael:That's true, that's true. I dated her momma, and you know what-
Jim:Stop.
Michael:[under his breath] Um... kay. Uh, alright.
Pam:One of the simplest ways to cut down on the spread of germs is to use something called the vampire cough.
Erin:Di-Did you say vampire?
Pam:Oh, no, it's just that if a vampire had to cough, he would do it like this. [coughs into elbow]
Dwight:Uh-huh. Right. And ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? [looks at camera] 'Cause of the euro.
Pam:Well, other things you can do to help cut down on the spread of disease are to wash your hands regularly. Don't come in if you're sick.
Dwight:[rolls his eyes and shakes his head] Uh...
Pam:And get your flu shot. Also, I'm going to set up hand sanitizing stations around the office.
Dwight:NO, no, no. They will cost you your life.
Jim:Elaborate.
Dwight:The worst thing you can do for your immune system is to coddle it. They need to fight their own battles. If Sabre really cared about our well-being, they would set up hand de-sanitizing stations. A simple bowl at every juncture filled with dirt, vomit, fecal matter...
Pam:I'm not - I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.
Dwight:Exposing yourself to germs is the best way to make yourself stronger.
Jim:So by that rationale, if I had to sneeze, I should just sneeze on you.
Dwight:Yes. I would welcome it.
Jim:[sneezes on Dwight, looks at camera] You're welcome.