The Promotion
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Season 6, Episode 3, 18:01-20:24
Meme It!Phyllis:It's not so much that I might not get a raise. It's just demeaning!
Andy:Thank you! That is exactly-- by the way, I would also like a raise.
Phyllis:Yeah, I would, too.
Dwight:Are we idiots? [gets up, starts walking around] What right does Jim have to claim authority, hmm? Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis? There are moments where we can affect change. For a few seconds every decade, we exist, and these are those seconds! Let us storm his castle! Come on! Tick-- let's get him. Tock-- let's get Jim! Tick-- and drag Jim out of his office! Tock-- take his keys away from him! Tick-- that's a clock! The time is getting very close! It's now or never! What say you?!
Phyllis:I say no.
Dwight:No, I mean, what do you say to my plan? [all groan] Okay.
Kevin:What does a bean mean?
Michael:[in Jim's office] How you doing?
Jim:Uh, on a scale of one to ten, I'd say I'm about a four.
Michael:Oh, what are you usually?
Jim:Six. You?
Michael:Usually a ten, but I'm feeling like a zero.
Jim:I mean, a performance-based raise sounded like a good idea, right?
Michael:I know, I know.
Jim:We tried to find the fairest way to do it.
Michael:Yes, we did.
Jim:I just-- what?
Michael:Um, nothing. I just... I used to have to do this part alone, and it was the worst. I have something I would like to give you. [leaves office]
Phyllis:Michael!
Kevin:Michael!
Phyllis:Come on! This isn't fair!
Jim:[to camera] Michael's my only friend left in the office. Except Pam... I think. Is she still upset?
Phyllis:[at Michael return to Jim's office] Michael, you cannot just keep avoiding us like this!
Jim:[Michael give Jim a 'World's Best Boss' mug] Thank you.
Michael:You're welcome.
Jim:What's in here?
Michael:Gin. [toast, sip]
Jim:Ooh!
Michael:[someone knocks] Just pretend we're not here.