THE MORE I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE IT TO THE SALESMEN.

COURSE I KNOW THAT THIS MIGHT COME OFF AS BIASED,

- OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ANOTHER PRO AND CON LIST?

- I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU STOP ME FROM THINKING.

THAT YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT.

TO TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM VERY WELL.

- NO, IT'S BECAUSE YOU ALSO HAVE A LOT OF WEAKNESSES, MICHAEL.

- OKAY. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT THOSE ARE, JIM?

- I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOOD AT MAKING TOUGH DECISIONS.

AND THEN STATING THAT DECISION VERY CLEARLY,

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S AN UNPOPULAR DECISION.

YOU SUCK. YOU SUCK. IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU?

BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE SOME GOOD IDEAS, TOO.

I'VE BEEN SITTING OUT THERE, AND I'VE BEEN LEARNING A LOT,

WHY DON'T YOU RUN YOURSELF OUT THERE AND TELL THEM?

- COULD I HAVE EVERYONE'S ATTENTION, PLEASE?

SO I'M JUST GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU STRAIGHT.

FOR RAISES THIS YEAR, SO THE SIMPLE FACT IS

SOME PEOPLE WILL GET RAISES AND SOME PEOPLE WON'T.

WE ARE GONNA GIVE THOSE RAISES TO THE SALES STAFF.

- LOOK, YOU GUYS ARE SMART, SO I'M JUST LEVELING WITH YOU.

I'M JUST TRYING TO TREAT YOU LIKE ADULTS.

- THANK YOU, JIM, FOR THINKING THAT WE'RE SMART PEOPLE.

IF WE'RE SUCH SMART ADULTS, THEN WHY DON'T WE GET RAISES?

IT'S BECAUSE JIM WANTS TO GIVE THE RAISES TO HIS FRIENDS

ABOUT THE MONEY THE SALES STAFF BRINGS INTO THE OFFICE.

- JIM IS ONLY GIVING RAISES TO THE SALESMEN.

- WHAT THE HELL? WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A JERK?

WOULD IT HELP YOU TO KNOW THAT JIM THINKS YOU'RE SMART?

- NO. HOW IS THAT GONNA REPAIR RYAN'S CAR?

- THIS IS RIDICULOUS! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO US?

- OKAY, DWIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'D BE GETTING THE RAISE SO--

- WE WORK JUST AS HARD AS THE SALES PEOPLE.

- YES. THEY DON'T GET 'EM IF WE DON'T GET 'EM.

YOU WANT TO TELL HIM HE DOESN'T GET SHOES?

- WOW. I'M JUST GONNA REWIND AND BACK OFF A BIT,

WELL, WE ALL KNOW IT'S HARD TO BE A BOSS, RIGHT?

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WILL OPEN THEIR HEARTS TO YOU.

- WE JUST NEED TO HEAR YOUR PLAN FOR OUR RAISE.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think we should give it to the salesmen.

I know. I just think it seems smart to keep the salesmen happy right now. 'Course I know that this might come off as biased, so you know what? Let us...

Oh, my God! Are you gonna make another pro and con list? I'm gonna kill myself.

I'm not gonna let you stop me from thinking.

No! I could not do that, Jim. I can see it in your crusty little eyes that you are going to make everything perfect. If I can just think this through, if I could just think it exactly right, I can make this perfect, and then I can go down every avenue, and every avenue off of that avenue, and then another avenue.

I think that you are able to take constructive criticism very well.

No, it's because you also have a lot of weaknesses, Michael!

Okay. Well, why don't you tell me what those are, Jim? Why don't you enliven me?

I don't think you're good at making tough decisions!

At thinking out the options, and then stating that decision very clearly, especially when it's an unpopular decision.

Okay, here's a tough decision for you. You suck! You suck! Is that clear enough for you?!

But maybe I'm here for a reason, because I might have some good ideas, too. I've been sitting out there, and I've been learning a lot, and maybe I can just bring something different to the table.

Okay, Skippy, here we go. Why don't you run yourself out there and tell them? [laughs] You call it.

[to the camera] This had better be terrible.

Could I have everyone's attention, please? I have some tough news, so I'm just gonna give it to you straight. Truth is, we only have so much money for raises this year, so the simple fact is some people will get raises, and some people won't. Now, what we've decided is, we are gonna give those raises to the sales staff.

Look, you guys are smart, so I'm just leveling with you. I'm just trying to treat you like adults.

Thank you, Jim, for thinking that we're smart people.

But, I do not understand. If we're such smart adults, then why don't we get raises?

Excellent question, genius. It's because Jim wants to give the raises to his friends and the people he sleeps with.

Really what it is, is about the money the sales staff brings into the office.

[walks in from shopping, with bags in her hands] What's going on?

Jim is only giving raises to the salesmen.

What the hell?! Why are you being such a jerk?!

Hold on, Kelly. Would it help you to know that Jim thinks you're smart?

No! [put's down her bags] How is that gonna repair Ryan's car?!

This is ridiculous! How could he do this to us?!

Okay, Dwight, you know what? You'd be getting the raise so--

What about all these people, huh?! How is it fair to them?!

We work just as hard as the sales people. We deserve raises.

Yes. They don't get 'em, if we don't get 'em!

My kid needs shoes! You want to tell him he doesn't get shoes?!

What the hell?! [everyone complaining at Jim]

Wow! I'm just gonna rewind and back off a bit, so... [imitates a tape rewinding and chuckles, Michael comes over by Jim laughing]

That was good! That was good! Okay, all right. Well, we all know it's hard to be a boss, right? You know what? Look around you. These are your best friends. These are the people who will open their hearts to you. They all have heart-ons for you [someone growns in disgust], and that is a gift. So in terms of gifts, we should be giving each other gifts. Angela, yes, lend Oscar a cup of sugar. This--

We just need to hear your plan for our raise.

You're not saying anything. At least Jim was being direct...

...when he was telling us his dumbass plan.

We would just like to know what's happening. Are we getting a raise, yes or no?

Alright! Let me get this clear! Does everybody want a raise? [all say yes] Alright, everyone wants a raise, so what we're going to do is go into here, and we will not come out until we do.

This isn't a game, you know? It's our livelihood!

The Promotion

Season 6, Episode 3, 10:58-15:17