Blood Drive
Meme It!Oscar:Do you risk telling him how you feel? Do you say something that you can barely admit to yourself?
Angela:Oh God, what did you do? I mean, not that I approve of any of it but...
Oscar:I was stupid, I told him.
Kevin:Was he in to you in like a gay way?
Michael:Moron, if he was there wouldn't be a story.
Oscar:He told me he wasn't gay. [everyone groans]
Michael:Really sad.
Oscar:I'm not done yet.
Michael:Oh my God.
Kevin:A week later a friend of mine calls me up, and he says 'I just saw him in a gay bar in Kansas City.' [everybody groans except for Michael who looks pleasantly surprised]
Michael:Well then it's a happy ending, because he was gay. You should call him!
Angela:My worst breakup was actually two breakups. Two different men. I was in love with both of them and when things went bad they had a duel over me.
Oscar:Yeah, Dwight and Andy. We were here.
Angela:No, this was years ago when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David.
Oscar:Angela, you had two sets of different men actually duel over you?
Angela:I guess I have. Huh.
Michael:Alright who's next? Where's Andy?
Oscar:He's on one of his honeymoons.
Michael:What?
Oscar:He made non-refundable deposits on his honeymoons, so he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot air ballooning and later he's got a couple's massage.
Kevin:My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said 'Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!' and she said that we're done.
Michael:You know what guys? I don't think we need to do this.
Dwight:You're right. OK everyone, back to work.
Michael:No, no, no, no. I mean have this kind of party. I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together.
Dwight:A net? a giant net?
Michael:No. Not a giant net.
Dwight:What do you have in mind?
Michael:I was thinking maybe like a mixer.
Dwight:Oh God, that's a terrible idea.
Michael:Old fashioned meet market --
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