Lecture Circuit, Pt. 2
Meme It!Michael:Goooood morning, Viet-Nashua! Sales. Sales is what bwings us together, today. How do we deal with clients who say, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn... about paper' and get them to 'Show us the money!' Well, we are going to find out today. Show of hands. How many of you are salesmen? Let's see the salesmen. [some raise their hands] Oh, okay. Well I know what the rest of you are thinking. Wow, yuck. Salesmen are the worst! They are awful. They are so arrogant. They think the whole place revolves around them. Handsome, good listeners, funny, Mr. Wonderful. So, okay, you're a salesman. What's, uh, what's your name?
AJ:A.J.
Michael:A.J. What kind of name is A.J.?
Michael:What do you race cars?
AJ:[laughs] I'm a salesman. That's why I raised my hand.
Michael:Ooh. Ouch. Okay, good. You're funny, very good and funny. Tell me, A.J., are you dating? Is there somebody you date?
AJ:Yeah. Why, are you interested? [all laugh]
Woman:I have a question about discounts from distributors.
Michael:Yep, we will get to you. Okay, so you're dating somebody? Um... is it serious?
AJ:It's pretty serious, yes.
Michael:Huh- [pauses] Does she ever talk about me? [voice cracking]
Pam:Oh, God.
AJ:Excuse me?
Man:What does this have to do with sales?
Michael:It's all connected. Shut up. [to A.J.] Does she ever mention 'Michael Scott?'
AJ:No, what are you talking about?
Michael:[sighs loudly] Does it feel good?
AJ:Does what feel good?
Michael:[grunts] Your life. [sits down, upset] Oh, wow. Whew. Ahh, legs are sorta giving out. Long drive in the car, so let's just- We'll just continue. [sighs, falls to floor, gets more upset] Oh, wow. [takes deep breath] Ooh, okay.
Pam:Michael, get off the floor!
Michael:Yeah, yeah... uh, I can't do this Pam. Just read from- just read the cards.
Pam:[whispering] No, no, no, you have to do it-
Michael:No, no, I'm okay. I'm all right. [sighs heavily] Okay... okay.
Pam:That was weird, huh? It's all part of the presentation. It was confusing, right? Because confusing situations happen to us all the time in our jobs. [pauses] I'm just trying to bridge the gap between what just happened and the fact that I'm going to be doing the rest of the presentation. [reading from the cards, in Forrest Gump voice] Sales is like a box a chocolates, you never know which vendor you're gonna get. Forrest Gump.