Dinner Party
Meme It!Jan:[Michael dips his steak into his wine] Can you not do that? It's disgusting.
Michael:You know I have soft teeth, how can you say that?
Jan:Oops.
Michael:Excuse me for a second. [gets up from the table]
Jim:[to babysitter] So... how do you guys know each other?
Woman:I was his babysitter.
Pam:And now you guys are dating?
Dwight:Purely carnal and that's all you need to know.
Jim:Would you write down your e-mail because I have just so many questions...
Woman:E-mail?
Jim:Nevermind.
Michael:Ok... alright... here we go. [takes down huge painting behind his seat and puts up a neon beer sign] There. [plugs it in] Oooookay.
Jim:That's nice.
Michael:Everybody enjoying their meal?
Jan:Hey babe?
Michael:Yeah?
Jan:How about we take the beer sign down until our guests leave and then we can discuss it.
Michael:No. No. I'm gonna leave it up. I think it ties the whole room together.
Jan:Ok. [gets up and goes over to the stereo and turns on Hunter's CD really loud]
Michael:[to the guests] Jan thinks Hunter is very talented. You know what? I don't think he's that good.
Jan:At least he's an artist.
Michael:BFD. I'm a screenwriter.
Jan:[shouting] AND I'M A CANDLEMAKER BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME BRAGGING ABOUT IT!
Michael:NO ALL YOU DO IS YOU GET ME TO TRY TO WORK ON MY RICH FRIENDS!
Jan:FOR AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY!
Michael:MAN! I WOULD LOVE TO BURN YOUR CANDLES!
Jan:YOU BURN IT. YOU BUY IT!
Michael:OH GOOD. I'LL BE YOUR FIRST CUSTOMER!
Jan:AND YOU'RE HARDLY MY FIRST!
Michael:[yells] THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! [Jan gets an evil look on her face and picks up Michael's dundie and throws it into his plasma screen tv] THAT IS A 200 DOLLAR PLASMA SCREEN TV YOU JUST KILLED! Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits, babe! [Jan goes upstairs crying.]
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