Promos
Meme It!Dwight:Security deposit. That's been-
Mr. Ruger:Standard.
Dwight:Right, standard.
Clark:Hey, can I talk to you for one second?
Dwight:No.
Clark:One second.
Dwight:No.
Clark:One second.
Dwight:I am closing a deal on a tractor with the father of a woman I plan to inseminate.
Clark:Don't do it. [takes Dwight's pen]
Dwight:What? Don't you cap that pen. Do not cap that pen! Do not! Ugh! You capped it. Wow. You are serious. Ok, you've got two minutes and then the cap comes off.
Clark:Dude, we're being conned.
Dwight:Go on.
Clark:These chicks are way too hot to be into us. Esther's just pretending to like you so that you'll buy her daddy a new tractor.
Dwight:No.
Clark:Yes. Her sister's trying to seduce me into buying an auger with her.
Dwight:What? Has the warranty expired on the auger you have now?
Clark:I don't even know what an auger is!
Dwight:No woman would ever want a man who doesn't know what an auger is.
Mr. Ruger:Hey, you ready to sign?
Dwight:I just need a moment to consider your offer. Excuse me. [grabs Clark]