Test the Store
Meme It!Nellie Bertram:Test launch day, people. Now, I would like to fill you in on a little secret about me to inspire you today. Now, I know you probably all think I'm this patrician goddess. But here's the truth. I was born in the little working class town of Basildon, and until the age of 32, [cockney accent] I talked like this, which was bloody horrendous, innit? I came from dirt, no lower than what's lower than dirt?
Dwight:Loam, magma, mantle, outer core, inner core.
Nellie Bertram:Yeah, thank you. Loam. Bloody loam, I came from. I hit rock bottom when I auditioned for the Spice Girls. I didn't even get a callback.
Jim:Which Spice Girl?
Nellie Bertram:The black one. I never stood a chance.
Jim:Okay.
Nellie Bertram:Now, think about my journey here today, and let it inspire your journey.
Dwight:Okay. Nellie, thank you. Thank you so much.
Todd Packer:Yep
Dwight:Today is press day and press is gonna make or break this store. And for a tech company, press can only mean one thing bloggers. Dossier on bloggers. Bloggers are gross. Bloggers are obese. Bloggers have halitosis. You're gonna love em. Ryan is going to be the main event today. He is the pitchman who is going to give the feisty yet profound speech worthy of a world's fair. Ryan, you ready to do this?
Ryan:When people see this presentation, they're gonna [bleep] in their pants.
Dwight:Okay.
Jim:Come on, man.
Cathy:Seriously disgusting.
Dwight:Cathy, you will be the hot girl who talks to bloggers.
Cathy:Ugh. Kill me. That was my idea.
Dwight:Packer, you will be the sexual predator who has come to prey on the trendy teenage girls who are obsessed with the Pyramid.