Tallahassee
Meme It!Nellie Bertram:Psst. Say, 'So who's leading this thing, anyway?'
Ryan:So who's leading this thing, anyway?
Nellie Bertram:Psst. Say, 'I can't wait to meet him.'
Ryan:I can't wait to meet him.
Nellie Bertram:Him, you say? Don't think a woman can be a leader?
Ryan:I-
Nellie Bertram:You poor, simple boy. Expected a man, did you? Strong, powerful. Huge, whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint, but my huge, whopping penis is right here, [points to her head] and I'm not afraid to use it. So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis. [slow clap] I'm Nellie Bertram, president of special projects. In the next few weeks we're going to throw everything you know about business out of the window and do it our own way. Are your minds blown? So, how did this special project come about anyway? Well, I interviewed to be the manager of your branch. [points to Jim] After you decided I wasn't 'a good fit-'
Jim:It was-
Nellie Bertram:Ah! It was. I went on a shopping spree. Very destructive. I bought thirteen pianos. Then I realized, what if Sabre had a store? Hmm? So I called Jo, old friend, founder of Sabre, and I told her and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she said, 'Yes!' So let's talk about the Sabre store then. Probably gonna look stupid, right? Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? What do you think it should look like?
Cathy:Um, it might be fun if each store had a different theme, like a beach one, a winter one, a jungle one.
Nellie Bertram:No, not a big fan of the winter aesthetic.
Cathy:Well that was just one idea. It doesn't have to be winter.
Nellie Bertram:Oh, no, it does. It does. It has to be winter, and I reject it. So I drew up a design concept. Probably gonna be rubbish, right? Would you like to look at it? Just so you could laugh at it.
Erin:Yeah!
Nellie Bertram:Let me just get the projector working.
Dwight:Uh. [eats antacids]
Jim:You got to stop with the antacids. It's not the antidote.
Dwight:You didn't poison me, it's just stress.
Jim:Okay.
Dwight:What is the antidote?
Jim:True love's kiss.
Nellie Bertram:Jim, help me lower this screen. You're a big, tall man. [points to Ryan] You'd be hilarious trying to do it, like a little boy. Just let go of his balloon.
Dwight:I'll do it! I always say, 'You want something done right? Ask Dwight.' Right? Dwight. Right? Dwight. Right Dwight, right Dwight. Sorry, now you'll never be able to get that out of your head. [reaches up, whimpers]
Todd Packer:I can do it.
Dwight:Mmm! [screams, pulls down screen] There we go.