Michael's Last Dundies
Meme It!Deangelo:They say he's going to be my right hand man, adlib masturbation joke. [realizing he wasn't supposed to read that directly off the cue card, speaks quietly] No, I hate this, I hate it so much. [loud again] Dwight Schrute! Please accept this promising Assistant Manager Dundie. [people clap as Dwight takes the microphone, he is obviously unenthused] Thank you, thank you so much. I would like to thank something that we, uh, take for granted in our daily lives. And that is the humble trashcan. [Creed nods] This is for you trashcan! [walks off and throws the Dundie into the trashcan]
Manager:[the manager of Louie Volpies approaches a giggling Kevin, who is coloring with crayons on the tablecloth] Who gave you those crayons?
Kevin:I brought them from home! Do you have a red?
Manager:This is a cloth tablecloth! You can't color on it!
Kevin:Oh really? [camera shows that Kevin has drawn a house on the tablecloth.
Michael:You know, herpes affects one in five sexually active adults? [manager looks up, angrily at Michael] Pippy Longstocking, Ronald McDonald's wife, Ron Howard, Ron Weasley, what do thay all have in common? Red heads. Erin Hannon, come on up here and receive your Cutest Red Head in the Office Award! [Erin looks thrilled and walks up to the stage]
Meredith:That is bull! [throws her Dundie]
Erin:Thank you, thank you! This is the first award I've ever won in my entire life. [Gabe and Andy smile at her] People are right about the Dundies, they are magical. But, I don't feel it. And I think that's because I'm not with the right person. Gabe, we should break up.
Gabe:What?
Erin:I'm not attracted to you. I just, I cringe when you talk. I have to be honest. Right, right Pam? [Pam looks very awkward] Thank you for hearing me.
Gabe:[stands up and walks to stage, takes the microphone] Well, this is embarrassing, um, I'm obviously really angry at Erin. It's that quarter life crisis everyone's been talking about. [Jim is looking wide eyed, jaw dropped] Alright I'm gonna go. [Dwight plays cricket noises]
Michael:[escorts Erin off stage] There you go.
Darryl:Damn that was cold.
Michael:It is difficult to recognize the person who will be replacing you. But he is a good guy, so the Michael Scott Award for Best Dundies Host goes to DeAngelo Vickers. [DeAngelo jogs up and takes the Dundie and tries to go back to his seat]
Audience:Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
Deangelo:Hold on, hold on one second. [puts on the headphones and turns the volume up all the way] I WANNA, I WANNA, I FEEL TRULY BLESSED! UHHH, TO BE WORKING WITH ALL OF YOU! BEFORE THIS ALL STARTED, FUNNY STORY, I WAS IN THE BATHROOM, VOMITTING, AND VOMITTING IN THE MEN'S ROOM!
Manager:Okay, okay. [trying to stop him from offending other people in his restaurant]
Deangelo:THAT'S WHY IT'S BEEN SHUT DOWN FOR MOST OF THE EVENING...
Michael:[stopping Manager] DeAngelo is expressing himself. [manager pulls the microphone cable, everyone can still here DeAngelo.
Deangelo:This is truly special, for me! And uh, anyway. It's so much lighter!
Michael:Okay, we're done! That's it.
Deangelo:Michael, are we?!
Michael:We're done. We're done!