Ultimatum
Meme It!Pam:Hey, Dwight, I'm collecting resolution cards.
Dwight:Not doing that.
Pam:Why not?
Dwight:I've achieved plenty and there's no better than the best.
Andy:Drink less caffeine. That's a good one, Pam. Here's mine.
Pam:Learn to cook for one!
Andy:Yeah. I love cooking, but I always find myself throwing out half the food that I prepare, so... two years is time to just start preparing the right amount of food for the right number of people, which is one.
Pam:Well, maybe you'll meet someone.
Andy:No, some people don't just meet someone. I'm fine with it. Really. This is not a pity party. It's not a party at all. It's just sad.
Pam:Angela.
Angela:Yes.
Pam:Make time for romance!
Oscar:Who's the senator?
Angela:My boyfriend.
Oscar:Oh, you mean the state senator. I'm sorry, I was confused, because you accidentally wrote 'the senator'.
Angela:Ugh.
Dwight:Wait, it's that easy? That's not a resolution, that's just... something I want to do. Okay, fine. I can do that... [sticks note card on board, makes trumpet sound] My resolution is... meet a loose woman.
Angela:Oh, God.
Andy:That's a good one.
Dwight:Yeah.
Andy:You know what, that's my new one. I'm taking that one, too.
Dwight:Awesome.
Darryl:You know what you guys should do? Go to the bookstore at lunch. There's tons of cuties and it's easy to talk to them. 'Hey, what book is that? Cool, let's hang out tonight. Sex already? Whoa...'
Andy:The bookstore?
Dwight:It's that easy?
Darryl:I'll come with you, show you how it's done.
Dwight:Okay, I'll drive.