Murder
Meme It!Dwight:How can I pose this to you in a relatable way? You are all members of the Yakuza and you happen to be visiting the Lackawanna trolley museum... and you are attacked by triads... how can you hold them off until your clan arrives? You cannot go wrong with a throat punch [screams, pretends to punch Meredith in the throat]
Jim:OK, so there's no defense for that, good to know.
Dwight:No, there is a defense for that. Let me demonstrate. Someone attack me. Kevin, go!
Kevin:No way. Last time you pulled my pants down and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.
Dwight:False. I did choke you with your shoelace. Now come at me!
Jim:OK, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.
Dwight:That is correct. Unless there happened to be measles present.
Jim:So let's just say that Dwight has come at you with the throat punch. Now how would you, Dwight, defend against it?
Dwight:Easy. Allow me to demonstrate. I am attacking myself with a throat punch. Here it comes. [gives himself a fake throat punch] Block. Grasp wrist as such. [grasps wrist]
Jim:And what if he comes at you with the other hand, because he does have two.
Dwight:Good point. Second, throat punch, absorb the blow. [gives himself another throat punch and proceeds to both attack and defend himself] Groin punch, hip block, elbow to the gut. Uh oh, up to the nose. No, you're not. Ow! Oh!
Jim:Oh my God, he's making you look like such a fool.
Dwight:He really is, but not for long. [steps on foot] Ow! Instep, oh, not again. [more screaming] You let go, you let go. Oh, you're right, I can't hold on.
Jim:You two are so evenly matched I don't know how one of you is going to get the upper hand.
Dwight:The important thing to remember Jim... we always have what is called the element of surprise. [hits himself in the groin and moans]