Gossip
Meme It!Michael:[to everyone, in conference room] Okay, I made it all up.
Andy:Even the fact that I'm gay?
Michael:Yes.
Andy:[relieved] Yes!
Michael:But guys, I'm a victim here too, okay? People here have been saying that I'm a J. Crew model.
Angela:No. We heard that about Jim.
Michael:Jim? No, no. I spread the rumor that somebody here was a J. Crew model, and I was referring to myself.
Angela:How is that a bad rumor?
Michael:Because a lot of people think that models, even though they're very attractive, are somewhat vapid. It's set our industry back quite a bit.
Oscar:Michael, why? Why say all these things? Why make up an eating disorder, Stanley's affair, me being a spokesdog...
Stanley:[pissed off] You told everyone I was having an affair?
Michael:Okay, okay... here's the thing. There was one true rumor out there today. I didn't want everybody to know what it was. So all of you are off the hook, except for this one person.
Kelly:Well then, what's the one true rumor?
Phyllis:We have a right to know.
Andy:Michael... am I gay?
Michael:[sighs] The one true rumor, and this is going to ruin this person's life, is that...
Jim:[interrupting] That Pam's pregnant.
Angela:I knew it!
Kevin:I knew it! Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first I thought 'Oh, she has a new bra with padding.' But then I thought 'Pam doesn't need padding.' It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim:Okay. Thank you.
Phyllis:Congratulations!
Erin:That's really great, you guys.
Ryan:Don't vaccinate it.
Dwight:Who's the father?
Pam:Jim.
Creed:How far along?
Jim:Four months.
Creed:Who's the OB/GYN?
Pam:Stop. Don't. Just...
Michael:Alright, alright... you know, this is not the truth, and you can't fall on the sword this way. The real thing is that Stanley Hudson had an affair.
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