The Surplus
Meme It!Jim:[on the phone] We have that going out Tuesday... Okay? Sure, no, I can... I'll double-check that for you.
Michael:All right, attention everyone.
Jim:Let me call you right back. Okay.
Michael:I have made my decision. We do not need a new copier. We do not need new chairs. This copier... is... [puts paper on glass and makes a copy, then takes paper from glass] working perfectly.
Oscar:That's the original.
Michael:Pam, would you stand up for a sec? [sits in Pam's chair] Hmm. See how relaxed I am? I like this chair. [slowly sinking into the chair] Offers good support, it is urkelnomically correct... it's a good chair. I think we're spoiled because we don't appreciate the things that we have. You think kids in Africa have chairs? No. They sit in big piles of garbage. You think they have copiers? [the chair has slowly lowered itself almost to where Michael is not visible over the desk] They don't have copiers. They don't even- [struggles to get up from Pam's chair] Gah! They don't even have paper. And we are spoiled because we throw out perfectly good tiramisu because it has a little tiny hair on it. My point I this: I have seen the light in terms of what we need, and it is nothing.
Oscar:Do you know?
Michael:Do I know what?
Oscar:I think you know.
Michael:Mm, no...
Phyllis:Know what?
Pam:Yeah, know what?
Oscar:Does anyone happen to know what 15% of 4300 is?
Michael:$645.00
Kevin:Michael's a genius.
Michael:Right.
Oscar:Why'd you say dollars?
Michael:Because that is how my mind works.
Oscar:What's 15% of 200? [Michael doesn't answer] Thank you. Everyone, Michael is returning the surplus so he can keep 15% as a bonus.
Jim:Wait, what?
Pam:You can do that?
Kevin:Hey Michael, what's 394 times 5,912?
Michael:Let's see...
Pam:You're gonna give yourself a bonus of $645 instead of getting the entire office something it really needs?
Michael:I don't need $645; I already have $645, more or less.
Oscar:You're gonna get us a copier then?
Michael:This is so stupid.
Pam:Or chairs?
Michael:This is so, so stupid. And, God... [looks at his watch] that's my phone.
Stanley:I didn't hear a phone.
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