Stress Relief, Pt. 1 & 2
Meme It!Michael:Hi, everyone. Corporate has given Dwight two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Dwight, have you prepared your statement of regret?
Dwight:I have.
Michael:Let's hear it.
Dwight:[clears throat] 'I state my regret.'
Jim:You couldn't of memorized that?
Dwight:I could not, because I do not feel it. Okay, everyone. I am going to need you to sign this statement of regret as an acknowledgement that you heard it. Okay? Everyone come on up here. It's not a big deal.
Phyllis:It is a big deal. You almost killed Stanley.
Dwight:Yeah, right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise. Now, take a lesson from Stanley and jog on up here and sign this, okay? Make a line. Just form a line right here. Sign it! Sign it now!