The Merger
Meme It!Michael:Yoko shack.
Male voice:...thank you James. [laughs]
Meredith:Hey, champagne.
Michael:Nope, no. Guests only.
Kelly:Looks like salmon.
Michael:Nope. Um... for the guests it is. For you, consider it cow-meat. Strictly taboo.
Kelly:I eat beef.
Michael:Well, then... consider it poisoned beef. No touchy.
Kevin:The beef is poisoned?
Michael:No, it's not beef... just... sit down, please. [talks to group] Welcome. Help yourself.
Toby:Um... You might want these orientation materials.
Michael:Wrong. Toby, this is an orientation not a borientation.[talks to group] Okay. Do not worry. All of your questions are about to be answered. Cell phones and pagers off, please.
Jim:Oh, this looks promising.
Pam:You won't be disappointed.
Michael:Let's face it. Moving to a new job can be very stressful. So I have made an orientation video especially for you newcomers. But it's not like any orientation video that any of you have ever seen. It's funny. It's got a little bit of a zing to it and I hope that it gives you a flavor of what we're all about here at Dunder Mifflin. And what we're all about here in Scranton. So let's just all laugh together and watch 'Lazy Scranton'.