Back from Vacation
Season 3, Episode 11, 0:01-2:02
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Meme It!Jim:All right, let's get started. Umm... Oh, first off, we're supposed to be pushing cardstock this week. So... let's push cardstock this week. Uh, also... [to Dwight] what is this?
Dwight:Tape recorder.
Jim:For what?
Dwight:For recording. Michael is on vacation and he's asked me to record all meetings and to type up the transcripts.
Jim:OK. Uh, Karen, any news from that law firm?
Karen:Yeah, the deal closed yesterday, it's the six month commitment.
Jim:Oh my God, Dwight, what're you doing?
Dwight:What?
Jim:You're not allowed to take off your pants in the middle of the office.
Dwight:I'm not.
Jim:Dwight, you know what, just back up, okay, that's making me uncomfortable. This is sexual harassment, by the way. Oh my God! He's got a knife!
Dwight:I do not have a knife!
Jim:No, let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude and is holding a plastic knife to Stanley's neck?!
Dwight:[leans into tape recorder] Let the record show that Jim Halpert is a liar!
Jim:[picks up tape recorder and speaks into it] Dwight Schrute is now wearing a baby's bonnet.
Dwight:Give me it. I am not.
Phyllis:Oh, Jim Carrey just walked in! Dwight, get his autograph for Michael quickly...
Dwight:Jim Carrey did not just walk in, OK.
Karen:Dwight, what is that on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo?
Jim:Oh my God, Karen, you're right, that is Animal from the Muppet Babies.
Dwight:You can't see... You can't see my stomach.
Andy:I am now chopping off Phyllis' head with a chainsaw! ... Rin-in-in-in-in-in!