Performance Review
Meme It!Michael:Why are we here? Because I value your opinions. Now, I know a lot of don't think that I read your suggestions, but I do. I just sift through them every week and I really look and scrutinize to see what you guys are writing. Um, so, let's, uh, just read some of these suckers. Alright. Number one: 'What should we do to prepare for Y2K?'
Dwight:What should we do to prepare for Y2K?
Kelly:I thought you read these every week.
Michael:Well, obviously this one got stuck in the box. [to Jan] That happens occasionally.
Dwight:It happens occasionally.
Michael:And, um, one down. Next suggestion: 'we need better outreach for employees fighting depression'. Ok, alright, enough with the jokes. Nobody in here is suffering from depression.
Jan:That sounds serious, Michael.
Michael:Oh, ok, well, yeah, who wrote it?
Dwight:Tom?
Michael:Tom. Then it is a joke because there is nobody in here named Tom.
Phyllis:Tom? He worked in accounting up until about a year ago. [blank stares] Tom? [acts like she's shooting herself in the head] Pow.
Michael:Oh, that guy? That guy was weird. Alright, next suggestion.
Dwight:Next suggestion.
Michael:Arrr, dooby dooby do. 'You need to do something about your B.O.'
Dwight:You need to do something about your B.O.
Michael:Ok, I don't know who this suggestion is meant for, but it's more of a personal suggestion and it's not an office suggestion. Far be it for me to use this as a platform to embarrass anybody.
Toby:Aren't the suggestions meant for you?
Michael:Well, Toby, if by me you are inferring that I have B.O., then I would say that is a very poor choice of words.
Creed:Uh, Michael, he wasn't inferring, he was implying. You were inferring.
Michael:Was I, Creed?! Ok, well, you know what? I am implying is that when we're on an elevator together, I should maybe take the stairs, because talk about stank. Not that I would ever say something like that in public, and I never have, and I never will. I just think it's something that we should all be aware of. Ok? Now that we've learned this, let's continue. See, this is good, we're learning and we're figuring some stuff out. 'You need to do something about your coffee breath'-
Dwight:You need-
Michael:Ok.
Dwight:To do something about-
Michael:Shut up, shut up, shut up, Dwight, OK. I don't think you people are grasping the concept of the suggestion box.
Angela:Sometimes you talk to us real close.
Michael:Yeah, is that hard for you? Alright, well-
Angela:Well, when you have coffee breath-
Michael:I'll work on that-
Angela:It's hard.
Michael:Let's keep going. Keep it going. Yep. What do we have here? We have somebody's piece of gum. Somebody put a piece of gum in there. This is not a, a garbage can, this is the future of our company. This is not a place for gum. I don't wanna have to read these tomorrow.
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