Drug Testing
Meme It!Michael:Drugs ruin lives people. Drugs destroy careers. Take Cheech and Chong everybody knows that Cheech and Chong are funny, but just imagine how funny they would be if they didn't smoke pot. I want everybody to take a look to their left. Now I want everybody to take a look to their right. One of those people will be dead from drug use at some point in their lives. This year more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children.
Stanley:Where did you get these facts?
Michael:Are these facts scaring you, or are they not?
Stanley:They are not.
Michael:Do you think that smoking drugs is cool? Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?
Stanley:No, I don't. I have a glass of red wine with dinner about once a week. For the antioxidants.
Michael:Okay, enough, enough, enough! I have written down a list of illegal drugs. Take a gander. How many of these are you familiar with?
Toby:Hookah is not an illegal drug, Michael.
Michael:Yes it is.
Toby:No it's not. It's a type of pipe. You can fill it with tobacco, often mixed with fruit, or other flavors.
Michael:Okay, you know what, Toby? Pam, can you take this down? [Pam throws her hands up to indicate she has no notepad] In addition to Toby's urine being tested, I would like to test his blood and his hair.
Toby:You can't do that.
Michael:I can test anyone randomly, and I have chosen you randomly.
Toby:That's not random.
Michael:Okay, eeny, meenie, miney, moe, is random. Okay, you know what? I'm going to need a volunteer to select one of these words and tell us of something tragic that happened in either their lives, or the lives of a loved one. Yeah, Pam.
Pam:I know that Jim has an amazing story about a relative of his who got caught up in the world of drugs.
Michael:Really? [Jim shakes his head no]
Pam:Uh, hmmm.
Michael:Jim it's okay. You can t... [Jim looks at Pam and shakes his head, Pam looks at him and gestures for Jim to go up and tell his story] This would be a good place to let it out, Jim. These are people you can trust. These are people who care about you. [Jim shakes his head no] It's okay, just we will not judge you. We are here to not judge you. [Jim stands up] Oh, he's doing it, okay. [Jim looks at Pam] It's okay. [Jim pretends to try, looking teary eyed, shakes his head no, mouths 'I can't' and sits back down. Pam is amazed.] Oh. Okay, are you sure? [Jim shakes his head. Kevin pats his shoulder] That looked like it was going to be good. Alright. [Pam nods in admiration at Jim] Okay, well.